I’m sure that I am not the only one who has been told that college, or your twenties are going to be the best days of my life. I’ve had family tell me that, along with the fact that it seems to be a sort of common wisdom that when you are young and on your own for the first time will shape how you feel about the rest of your life.
I’m not too sure about that anymore.
Being a full-time student and working two jobs has a way of appearing like an unconquerable period of time. Any student will tell you that the longer you are in college the quicker the semesters seem to pass; but at the same time when you are in your fourth year with one more to go after that, one year never looked so far away.
Why are these supposed to be our best years? Because we are young and finally get to experience the world for the first time, under our own accord? We don’t have to really do anything we don’t want to; there will still be consequences, but it’s your choice to accept them or not.
Or is it because our bodies can a hell of a lot more than they will be able to in only a decade; a short time ,no matter how far away it seems now. Because of that we can burn the candle at both ends, as well as straight in the center just to make it through finals week.
I don’t see how any of those reasons make your college years the best.
When you first enter college you are eager, you want to learn new things and be around people who are also excited about learning. Yes, you do new things on your own schedule also; but it really, really takes a toll on your body. Even worse, if you’re not careful it will start to affect your mind.
I find now that all I want is a job that I can earn enough money to live off of. The criteria of that job have also drastically changed. I used to want to work in a field that I thought had a ‘purpose’. Politics, education, pharmacy; they were all on the list for various amounts of time.
I wanted to do something that I thought would have an impact on the world and people around me. Then I got burnt out. All I want in a job now is that when I punch out at the end of the day, it’s my time. Taking work home with me is not something I want in my life anymore; regardless of what sort of impact I thought those jobs would have.
I am also fully aware that you can’t simply have a job, you have to pay your dues and put in your pound of flesh. I’m working on it now, the difference is that I no longer really see the same amount of worth in it.
A degree gets you a job, I know that amount of value is still in college; but I’m not gung ho about the knowledge. It has turned into a prerequisite, not a passion.
There have been a lot of really good times throughout my time in college; but they were very minor. The majority of your energy put into surviving, and that means that you soon forget about the good times, even with their increased value due to scarcity.
So what is the best way to regain your youthful altruism? Well, that is a tall order to fill.
And at this point, all I can think of is to cut your losses and dig the fox hole deeper. Just maybe, you’ll get through it.