11Dear Badvice,
What red flags should I look for when dating in college?
Sincerely.
Single-and ready-to-mingle
Dear single-and-ready-to-mingle,
Look for whatever qualities give you the creeps. The only person who knows your life is you, and only you can decide what eyebrow raising qualities you can deal with. Make a list, weed people out, but in case for some reason you fail, here are some guidelines.
First red flag? Inconsistent behavior, shocking I know, I bet that was one you had to fish for. A ghost in the lecture hall means a ghost in your texts. Unpredictability equals stress raising emotion packed with more-effort-than-it’s-worth interactions. College is draining enough, run fast from these people.
Poor taste in music/weird music preferences. Does hours of listening to music you can’t stand sound enjoyable to you? If you said yes or mentally responded by thinking you could handle it, you are so wrong. Life is full of background music and songs that make our moments memorable, so don’t chase those who’ll make your life as memorable as a cheesy second rate 1980s television show theme song.
Negative Nancy’s need not apply. People who always have some negative remark waiting for any possible situation raise the biggest red flag, and should probably go soul searching, because they obviously need a new one.
How someone treats other people can be a huge warning sign. So huge that you probably ignored it. If you watch this person you are oh so interested in during their interactions, whether it be with teachers, peers or friends, and you cringe or feel the need to apologize for their behavior, NEXT.
If you decide to play Sherlock, and think you’re a genius in disguise as you peruse someone’s Facebook profile to get more information, paint yourself red and call yourself a flag. If you or the person you are interested in are so obsessed you have to be a stalker, that could raise some concern. Maybe you are just trying to find a redeemable quality about someone you just met by using the creepy internet stalker method, find somebody else.
A red flag you probably did not think about, is if someone is boring. A walking flatline, if you will. “I LOVE being bored to tears” said no one ever. If you would rather sit through a lecture, you have a problem. Your partner should push you to do better, life is an adventure you need to have. Zero personality, zero motivation, and zero aspirations all equal zero dates for the living snooze-fest.
What’s my favorite “red flag finder”? So glad you asked, put your sherlock caps back on friends, behold the Idaho State Repository. For those of you who are living under a rock and are completely confused right about now, the repository is an always updated online public showcase of criminal records. By searching for someone’s name you can find all their dirt, from speeding tickets to felonies. If their name pulls up a long list maybe you should reevaluate your choice in partners. But wait! There’s more! If you have an urge to look them up, that is a red flag of its own.
My final red flag is endless boasting. We all have our accomplishments and moments where we “toot our own horn” and brag, but when you think about the conversations your love interest or significant other have and all you remember is how they praised themselves, yikes, red flag. If you have to hold in your eyerolls and sarcastic comments, you should take that into consideration.
At the end of the day, each person is different and has their own limits. When dating, stay safe and avoid the people with too many red flags.
Sincerely,
Badvice
