When words get lost in translation
Language is an interesting concept. It’s constantly changing, exists in various forms and allows us to relate and share the human experience in a concise way.
It seems as though we often take for granted the freedoms language allows us until we’re faced with situations where we have to try to communicate with others without it. These language barriers can be frustrating and difficult to work around, but what about the language barriers between people who are speaking the same language?
Lately I’ve been thinking about communication and, despite how useful it is, how ineffective it can be at the same time. It’s so easy for two people to have a conversation and walk away with completely different ideas of what was said.
I’m sure part of that issue is just in the nature of language and how people’s experiences influence them to understand communication differently. Unfortunately I feel that another part of it is simply that people don’t know how to communicate effectively with one another, for whatever reason.
A lot of the time I think poor communication is based in fear or discomfort. Rather than say what we mean, we say what’s less awkward or uncomfortable, especially if we’re worried about what the other person would like to hear.
It’s definitely hard to muster up the courage to be honest at times, whether out of fear of hurting or angering the other person, or fear of the honest answers we might get if we ask the questions we’re really thinking of.
It’s not that I’m advocating for brutal honesty – I understand that social niceties exist for a reason, and there are definitely times when it’s important to soften the blow of a statement or interact with someone politely. However, I think a lot of these “niceties” have crept into everyday conversation, leading to some passive-aggressive tendencies in interaction.
Instead of being upfront in friendships, romantic relationships or other close personal relationships, it seems people often tiptoe around what they want to say.
Lately I’ve been trying to be more conscious of what I’m really trying to communicate, and what the best way to say that might be. Instead of getting upset if a friend is busy, I find it’s been much easier to be honest and say, “Hey, I miss spending time with you. Can we make plans this weekend?”
I know it can be intimidating to be honest. Sometimes people don’t reciprocate that candor, which is frustrating, and sometimes honesty can be returned with harsh realities. I’ve found I would prefer to cope with the facts than continue in less-than-blissful ignorance.
It’s useful to realize that what you say can be just as important as how you say it. I’ve got this awful tendency of shrugging things off with a humorous tone when I’m feeling upset, and I know I’m not alone in that. While it can lighten a situation, it can also diminish the importance of a person’s message.
Poor communication habits, like any other habits, are not easy to break. But with a little work and honesty, I think it’s possible to transform simple conversations into true connections.
